Dr. Schmegmo is here!!!
Recent File Photos of Dr. Schmegmo (aka. rrod1_2000)
Noted wine authority recently released from....eh....er....uh....um..... a previous commitment... is now available for advice!!!
Editor's note: The following is a collection of recent correspondence to Dr. Schmegmo from wine aficionados on topics ranging far and wide on wine and its attendant culture, etiquette, and enjoyment. It is offered only as a source of enrichment and information about wine, and in no way should be construed as an endorsement or affirmation of contrary social norms and behaviors more commonly addressed by Mafioso or law enforcement figures. Dr. Schmegmo is an endearing character that I've had the privelege of knowing for the last 20 years. He is as knowledgeable about food, gambling, blondes, and large caliber hand-guns as anyone I've ever met, and, I daresay, one of the most competent forgers this side of the Arc d'Triomphe. I'm not normally given to issuing platitudes unabashedly, yet the cold steel and dark presence of Schmegmo's associate, Guido, standing next to me inspires me to write about what a 'gosh-darn-wonderful' guy he is (if you catch my drift!). Without further ado, I submit the following for your kind consideration.
Don "The Don" White
Dear Doc!
My friend Trixi and me want to learn more about wine and meet some really cute guys. Our problem is that we don't get off work from the topless club til 4 a.m. and we're tired of the cabbies who give us white Zinfandel out by the wharf. Do you have any suggestions?
Love, Tina Scungilli
Dear Tina!
Next time you and Trixi are in New Jersey, call me at the Amboy Social Club. Me and the boys know how to treat a lady with some 'bene grappa', and we will educate youse guys on how to properly handle our corkscrews!
Heh!?
Ciao
Yo!!! Schmeg!!!!
Purolator. 7 p.m. First National. Teamsters' Payroll. Burgundy or Bordeaux?
Tony
Gotcha!!
Those kind of meals are often served on four-inch thick armor plates with a whole bunch of maitre'd's snooping about. Go with a real big Bordeaux for sure with maybe a heavily-extracted Zinfandel for back up, just in case, if you catch my meaning. Be sure the sediment settles down first before you uncork, and try not to make too much noise.
Ciao
Dear Sir:
What are your thoughts on wine futures?
Dominic
Dom!
Any wine in my cellar ain't got much of a future. I buys them and then I drinks them. But let me address your question a little bit more in detail 'cause I know what you're getting at. Investors that buy futures are betting on the come. They're hoping that the quality of a 1st growth offering will surpass their initial ante and score big in the market. But, as with any dice game, you gotta be willing to lose when the toss comes up 'craps'... like maybe a year of bad weather. Me, personally, I don't mess with speculation other than figurin' out what I'm gonna uncork for dinner tonight.
Ciao
Hey Schmegmo!
I like to watch that TV show called "The Sopranos" and was wondering: have you noticed the wines they drink on that show? I'd like to make a meal like they got on the show, with even the same wines too. Any help?
Benji Boy
Sure Thing!
I dig Tony Soprano too! I've seen lots of wine on the show but it's frustrating because sometimes the labels are turned around or the scene is too short. Anyways, what I've seen mostly are big Italian reds and several French whites. In one show, Tony and Ralphie were discussing a solution to young Gabe's problem. I distinctly noticed a bottle of Marco Felluga's Venezia Giulla Caratan '99. Another time I also saw Tony and his family at home drinking a Russia Superiore Sauvignon Collio '86 for Thanksgiving, which must've been drinking great around this time. Tony shares a lot of 'Cristal' and 'Dom' with his bimbo girlfriends, but what left me a little depressed and confused was when at the end of last season's finale show, Tony, Paulie, and Christopher toasted Big Pussy with tequila before they whacked him way out on the ocean. I woulda' done something nicer for Pussy like maybe opening a Sicilian Canto Riserva '82 or possible a Lunare Picollis Grappa before turning his head into a whiffle ball. But then again... Hey! Whatta' you gonna' do?
Ciao
Dear Doc:
Do you think stemware makes a big differnce in how wine is tasted? I'm thinking about spending some serious cash on a set of 10oz Riedel Bordeaux stems, but I just don't know...Help!
Stemless in Seattle
Heads up Stemless!
My answer is both yes and no. Yes it's important if you want to incorporate the visual in your wine experiences. It also says alot about your attention to detail and presentation, and your guests will appreciate that extra touch. Now, does the wine suffer from just being poured in any kind of glass? Not a bit. I got an old grape jelly jar complete with The Flintstones characters embossed on it and it's one of my favorite vessels from which I drink wine. I say go with your heart and everything will be just fine.
Well, friends, this wraps up another session of questions you've asked me. Keep 'em coming, and don't forget my 10 Commandments to you all regarding wine. Here they are just in case you forgot:
1) Wine tastes better when you share it with a friend.
2) Wine tastes better when you share it with a complete stranger. That's one way to make new friends.
3) Don't be a snob!!! Snobs don't add a damn thing thing to the enjoyment of wine, and they just make awful noises trying to impress you with their self-importance.
4) Open a bottle of Champagne just because. It will turn any ordinary event into a celebration.
5) Pour some wine for the kids. Teach them how to drink responsibly.
6) Always try something new. Don't get stuck in a rut with the same varietals, regions,and suppliers.
7) Anybody can buy an expensive bottle of wine. It takes a real wine fan to find a true value and share it with the world.
8) Enjoy!
9) Enjoy!
10) Enjoy!
Ciao!!!
Dr. Schmegmo invites any and all wine queries or suggestions with a credit card number to this locale any time day or night. The Doctor is also available to help you with any of your vinyl or aluminum siding needs.
Editor's Note: Dr Schmegmo is indeed available to answer (seriously, LOL!) your wine queries at the Yahoo! National Wine UnClub discussion site. Join us there for the fun!
