The National Wine
UnClub
Newsletter
July/August 2007
Two-Buck Chuckles
Ok, now they've done it! Those mad viticultural scientists have come up with the right formula to even bamboozle the experts! The lowly 'Two-Buck Chuck' Chardonnay has taken the double gold award at the recent 2007 California State Fair Commercial Wine Competition against a field of over three hundred other more expensive, high-rent district, Chardonnays.
Produced by those clever Franzia folks (of box-wine fame) exclusively for Trader Joe's of California and other western states, the Charles Shaw label has been in the news before but never with this much extreme hype. What are we to make of this wine phenomenon?
The running commentary in almost every forum regarding this topic goes like this: Half of the respondents are tickled pink at their wine of choice beating out the snobbish labels of Napa and Sonoma (even though the Charles Shaw wine sports a mis-leading "Cellared and Bottled in Napa" label - one might think the grapes were grown in Napa which they aren't). The other half of current comment is pooh-pooing the wine as cheap plonk, fit only for low-budget frat parties.
Having tasted this wine a few times I can see how it would stand out in a crowd of other similar wines. I've commented many times before in these newsletters about what is going on here and I agree with one forum contributor who said that Two Buck Chuck represents the "dumbing down of the American palate". Give people what they want to taste in a wine at a ridiculously low price and you have a formula for success.
Consider the difficulty for a wine judge who is confronted with over three hundred Chardonnays. How does one wine rise above all others in this impossible scenario? The simple answer is: "Bigger is better"! The wine that usually stands out is dramatically fruity and screams "PICK ME!"
To examine this further, consider that every good cook understands what flavor intensifiers are. MSG (monosodium glutamate) is a well-known flavor intensifier which is basically just table salt blended with a glutamaic amino acid compound. Oriental foods have used this additive for years to intensify the savory taste of their many popular dishes.
What are the flavor intensifiers in wine? Acids, alcohols, and sugar. You want your Chardonnay to win a medal in a crowded competition? Just add acids, generate high alcohols, and leave in a good dusting of sugar and your wine will certainly be in contention for the gold! And that, my friends, describes good ole Two-Buck Chuck to a tee. By itself it reminds me of what I can only describe as "fortified pineapple Kool-Aid", attractive perhaps for those with poppy tastes, but in no way should this be confused with natural, authentic wine.
Certainly everyone should be drinking what they like; I would never advocate my taste preferences over someone else's because that's simply rude and inappropriate. However, as parents of a five-year old child, don't we constantly admonish our child to "eat your carrots", or green peas, or liver, whatever? And, as adults, we typically grow to love these less-sweet, earthy tastes - not just because they are "good for us".
Wine purists like myself are advocating a return to the natural taste of well-made wine; eschewing higher levels of alcohol, the addition of acids, and residual sugars. Two-Buck Chuck is here to stay I'm afraid; a great way to sell-off the overproduction of California vineyards. But my fervent wish is that calculating winery owners leave the good wine alone!
Cheers!
Donald W. White